“Inside,” said Reverend Ussher. ” Quickly!”
He and the verger retreated into the church and locked the door. Outside, they could hear gargoyles beating against the wood and scratching at the lock, but the door was very old and very thick, and it would take more than a bunch of foot-high stone monsters to break it down.
“What do we do now?” asked the verger.
“We’ll call the police,” said the vicar.
“And what’ll we tell them?”
“That the church is under siege from gargoyles,” said the vicar, as if this was the most obvious thing in the world.
“Right,” said the verger. “That’ll work.
The Gates, John Connolly
The Gates by John Connolly is the Vagrants pick for July.
Gods Behaving Badly exudes evil.
Okay, so Gods Behaving Badly. I do not recommend. This book is awful
Don’t read this b/c spoilers and blahblahblahblahblah if you care
First off, rape jokes. Not funny. Like, I understand that Greek mythology is riddled with tales of the gods assaulting mortals, but to joke about it? Not okay. And another thing: it’s really as if the author did not think this through. I understand that she was casting Apollo as a self-centered narcissist, but he fell in love with Alice, and I think that a god who’s been around for however many thousands of years would have enough common sense to understand that rape=/=love
My second major problem is that she ((the author)) seriously wanted the reader to believe that Athena, Goddess of Wisdom, had figured out the solution to their problem yet was unable to communicate it in a way her godly peers could understand for over two thousand years. Do not go dissing Athena; she is the bamf-est deity who ever strutted across Mount Olympus. The goddess of motherfucking wisdom, we are supposed to believe, is not smart enough to convey that being worshiped is like food to a god. Not just that, but none of the other gods could figure this out? I figured it out not even half-way through the book. Does this make me smarter than Artemis and Hermes and Zeus? Look out, Athena, you’ve got competition apparently. I think the author simply had something against Athena
My third largest issue was when Alice died. Now I understand that I don’t view death and love the same way that most people seem to, so it was difficult for me to try and understand why Neil spent nearly a month moping in the solitude of his flat, but really? This is not love. This is some sort of obsession or idealization. This is pathetic. Now I’ve never lost anyone I loved ((just pets, but I know most people won’t count that)), but I know that there has to be a certain amount of self-love that has to go into loving someone else. You can’t love someone and hate yourself. It just doesn’t work like that. You can’t spend nearly a month neglecting your mental and physical well-being along with your friends, co-workers, family, and life and yet claim to be in love with someone. This isn’t love; this is obsession
And then Alice. Despite being dead and living in the Underworld, she somehow still remembers Neil perfectly and refuses to move on with her
lifedeath. Again, this is not love
And Persephone. She’s been around for thousands of years, yet Neil and Alice’s relationship is the very definition of love to her? Just no. I don’t think even the God of Stupidity would be that dumb
And the ending was just dumb. Like, I have no other way of describing it. It was just terrible
I don’t know how the author managed to do this, because it was a fine idea—Greek gods in modern times, seriously, great idea—but it was just so poorly executed
tl;dr: I found this book very insulting to the reader’s intelligence and just poorly written. Not worth staying up until 6 this morning reading it